Pay For Work—How Naive

National Library, Ottawa
July, ’77


Pam, Bruce, and I waited for an hour before we accepted our fate. Joe,
the con man, was not coming. I think Pam and Bruce were more
disappointed than I was because they actually expected to get paid for
the work they planned to do. Everybody was back at square one. Pam and
Bruce went looking for work, and I began thinking about riding my
bicycle across Ontario—not a happy thought. I didn't look forward to
competing for highway space with all that metropolitan traffic. It was
my guardian angel, Stephanie, who suggested I hop on the train.

I jumped at the idea and began to make the necessary preparations.
After getting a ticket and packaging my bike, I was ready to depart in
the morning. That night, Pam and Bruce, holding an unopened bottle of
gin, offered me a going away present. Together, drinking gin, we sat
on the steps outside the hostel, reminiscing over the good times that
never happened. This happy occasion ended with a short stagger up the
steps and back into our hostel beds. I owe Bruce one for that one!

The next morning, I missed my train. I decided to take the next train
out, a late evening one. I had another day to kill in Ottawa, so I
went to the National Library and I picked off the shelf three books by
Heidegger. He must have been popular in France because a whole shelf
of his books was written in the French language. Ultimately, I don't
believe he's saying anything I haven't heard before, but he says it
differently. He says it in his own unique language. It's possible that
I might understand this stuff even better if I could only get a really
good handle on the strange way Heidegger puts it into words. I might
want to read the book I have in front of me when I get home, so here
it is: Heidegger and Ontological Difference, L.M. Vail, The
Pennsylvania State University Press, University Park & London, 1972.
Oh what the hell, why not this one too: Martin Heidegger, What Is A
Thing, Vera Deuteh, analysis Gendlin, 1967, Henry Regner Co. Ch. Ill.