Dealing With Some Bad News

Time Marches On
1979

CMU had a long history of giving leaves of absence for military duty, illness,
and education, but, as I found out, not to custodians, at least for
educational purposes. Although students at JFKU were given practicum
training in teaching and in grant and technical writing, it was also
stated in the literature that there was not a high demand for teachers
who taught in the fields of consciousness and mysticism. "That market
was opening up," the brochure said. Well, I thought as long as I could
pay off my loans, going into debt wouldn't be a problem, but with no
work, or worse, no hope for work, all I could see was a dead end.
Essentially, I would be throwing away the life that I worked so hard to create.
I decided to remain a Castalian.

Not long after I let JFKU know of my decision, I received a letter
from Hatha Surrender. As head of the graduate program, he wrote that
he and his colleagues were disappointed that I would not be joining
the program. He said my application was a very good one, and if I ever
changed my mind, I would not need to reapply. I took that as a
compliment, and put JFKU at the top of the list of places to visit on
my bicycle trip scheduled for next summer.

Carin and I shared some good times, but I never let myself look too
far into the future. As the time for her departure approached, I
couldn't just let her go, though. We planned a farewell trip. On that
trip I would take her to my spiritual home--the Rocky Mountains. I had
hoped that in the most beautiful place in the world she would wake up
one morning, throw her arms around my neck, and tell me she wanted to
spend the rest of her life with me.