Marriage
Future Time
"So, it must have been hard on you," replied MV. "It must have felt
like you were talking to a wall."
"I was depressed and getting more so," I said. "Even taking classes
had lost its luster."
"That's when you chose marriage," said MV.
"Yeah, that's when I began to see marriage and family in a whole new
light," I responded. "I even remember the exact moment of that
realization. I turned on the music and pulled my rocker into the
`sweet spot' in front of my speakers for the umpteenth time. Then I
envisioned myself twenty years hence, and all I could see was a
wrinkled old me, sitting in front of the same music, alone, for the
duration of my life. The music lost its luster after that. And that's
when I asked myself, `How does God do it?'"
"Do what?"
"Make quality happen," I replied. "And then it dawned on me. It's not
necessary to know what you're doing to get it done. All it takes is
family. Within the family structure, whether you like it or not,
quality freedom happens. Care giving is, essentially, a teaching and
learning process. It has to be that way."
"And here we are," said MV, "looking back at a life totally different
from the one you had once envisioned."
"Yeah," I replied, "and all because I stopped fighting with my own
philosophy. I got out from under `Sisyphus's boulder,' so to speak,
and just walked away. The thought of finding a wife and raising a
family increasingly became for me more divine and heartfelt than
anything my self-imposed `philosophical existence' had to offer. With
that goal in mind, nature became large again, and, just like in those
black ink Taoist drawings, I became very tiny."
"And that was just the beginning," responded MV, "the beginning of the
hard part."
"Yes, that kind of thing was never easy," I replied; "especially if
you're looking for more than a physical relationship. I knew it would
be almost impossible to find someone to share my philosophy with, but
I began to search anyway."
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