Glacier Rain Bicycling--MV At His Best

Going To The Sun Road
Glacier National Park
June '72

I was already wet and cold, and peddling in the rain was all I had to
look forward too. I felt terrible. I thought to myself, "Why didn't
those assholes in the Winnebago invite me in? If I could see them, they had to see me, soaking wet, out in the rain." With water spinning off my front tire,
soaking my clothes through my rain-gear, I wanted to be the one sitting
in a motor home, eating donuts, and drinking coffee. And then I
thought, as more travel homes passed me on the highway, "They're all
laughing at me, those people in their warm, dry vehicles are all
laughing at the stupid jerk bicycling in the rain." The wetter I
became, the bitterer I became, and then I heard this voice. "Don't
blame them," it said. I just kept peddling, wondering if I had heard
the voice or just imagined it. After a prolonged moment I said, "Fuck.
Who's blaming whom? Is there somebody blaming somebody? I don't know
anything about blame?"

"Yes you do, you're blaming the motor home people for your misery."

"Fuck", I thought "You were gone. You were gone. Why didn't you stay
gone? I was rid of you and healthy, but now your back."

"Absolutely!" MV responded, "I'm part of you and the best part at
that, but that's old news. It's not good to be separated for long.
After a while you begin to feel out of touch. You know what I mean?
Don't sweat it. Now and again I'll always be checking on you."

"But you left, until now at least."

"That's right," replied MV, "I did as you wished. But, at any time I
can "check in" if I deem it noteworthy. That was part of our bargain,
remember?"

"Yes, I remember," I said, "I remember all too well. I remember
smacking my head in that car accident in L.A., and you sort of just
popped into my head after that. I remember that stupid wager in New
Orleans, where I offered my soul or something like that just to get
you out of my head, and it worked, until now at least. Well, are you
leaving?"

"Your memory's pretty good," said MV. "I'm especially delighted you
remember that part about your soul. You know, I get to keep it as soon
as you find that stuff you're looking for, that stuff that will make
you content, happy, or whatever. Right?

"Yeah, I remember," I said. "I got rid of you, didn't I? It's pretty
easy to give up what doesn't exist anyway. You are leaving, right, or
is something amiss?"

" Don't fuss! My word is as good as gold!" said MV. "You have
absolutely nothing to fear-- or lose--unless you agree to it. I will
go if that's what you want; it's just that I felt you needed some
attention, and that's why I'm here."

"How can you help me when all I want is for you to leave?"

"The knowledge," responded MV, "you want it even if you won't admit it."

"And, before I tell you to fuck off, what knowledge is it that I need?"