You're ridin' high in April, shot down in May
But I don't let it, let it get me down
'cause this fine old world, it keeps spinnin' around
Time To Move On
Keaau
May
Honesty, for me, had always been an important part of any
relationship. I guess that's why I could subject myself to so much
ridicule. I was far from perfect. If things got too bad, then it was
time to move on. I was fair about it, though. If my girl left me to
have an affair with another guy, that was okay. I just didn't want
her to do it behind my back, and then pretend that nothing had
happened. If she was honest about it, and she still wanted to be
with me after the affair was over, then, maybe, we could get back
together. After all, relationships were about growth,
and growth was sometimes painful. In fact, in many cases, if there
wasn't any growth, there wouldn't be a relationship. It was all about
relationship. If you couldn't have a relationship with me, than go
find it somewhere else. That was what I believed, so I didn't feel
like I was doing anything wrong when I encouraged C.S. and Tim to get
together. It's just that I was a little unhappy with the result
because they did.
The past couple of days I had been witnessing what could be loosely
called an affair between C.S. and Tim. I had spent last night walking
the beach trying to rise above my nausea. I am still in a highly
emotional state. Whether or not Carol Sue actually had sex with Tim
was of little importance. I believed she had. I am convinced she wants
to. I spent the beginning of last night listening to their drunken
carrying on in Tim's tent. Uninhibited voices carried well across the
beach. I carried no ill will for either one of them (I was a little
disappointed with C.S. though). My discontent was directed at myself;
it was the condition I called "all too human."
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