The regular crowd shuffles in
There's an old man sitting next to me
Makin' love to his tonic and gin
He says, "Son, can you play me a memory
I'm not really sure how it goes
But it's sad and it's sweet and I knew it complete
When I wore a younger man's clothes."
Piano Man--The Song That Kept Me Company While At Work
Makaha, Hawaii
May ‘73
Back in Houghton Lake, when I used to visit Carol Sue, our
relationship was protected. It was carried out in the privacy of her
apartment. There were, of course, normal interactions with friends,
but everybody knew everybody else's "business." There was no threat to
the status quo. In a small town, with few opportunities for social
bonding, relationships tended to begin early and last a long time. I
guess you could say there was security in stagnation. With C.S. living
with me on the beach, my (our) security was threatened constantly.
It was not like living at home. C.S. and I confronted a whole
different set of circumstances and obstacles on the beach. There were
the marauding locals. Fortunately, C.S. and I fared well there, but,
even so, on the beach, opportunities to meet people were thrust upon
you. It was like living in a fish bowl! This was not a problem for
C.S. She reveled in the attention, but while she was making new
friends, I was struggling with stability, security, and identity
questions. It didn't take long before I began to doubt that I was
really the guy Carol Sue wanted to be with. Or, even worse, I started
to believe that I couldn't make her happy. I convinced myself that she
would be better off with somebody else. She needed a guy who could
give her the attention she craved, and I wasn't that person. When
C.S. became good friends with another beach camper, I felt that it was
pretty much over between us.
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